WELL HELLO !!!!

                                   While other blogs may look inviting, it is this place on the web where I have done most of my writing LOL That rhymes. SO I welcome myself back home again. My biggest hope is that I may have time here and there to write and not bore people to death with my ramblings ! 

 
                                   The winter, for me, has always been a time of hunkering down and plotting out the year and exploring my options. Have to work full time due to  non forseen financial obligations called a mortgage. When I bought this house I bought it cash. I wanted to not worry about a mortgage, but finances changed, I make nowhere near what I had projected myself making and here I am with that monthly bill …. first thoughts … CRAP!  I hate owing money .. hate hate hate it, but doing my best to embrace it all the same. 

                              I DO realize that there are many reasons why I HAVE to work. The biggest reason is because I am needed where I am. It is that simple. I am learning things that I could not learn by NOT working and I am learning volumes about it all.

                                I work with the disabled population and I have come to love it completely. I am much more of an intuitive and a healer than ever before. I spend five days a week mingling with the most magnificent souls you can imagine, one more amazing than the next. These beautiful souls have become MY teachers ! The main problem I have is that the money is so marginal, I do not know how my coworkers are existing let alone eating and paying bills. We work so hard, we give so much of ourselves, only to have piles of bills at the end of any given day. It can be discouraging to say the least. 

                                    I try to be a beacon for those who are seeking it. I am the shoulder that many lean on. I know I am a person who has a room that is a true oasis of peace and music and tranquility. It takes it’s toll on me, yet, I also know that something inside of me has allowed these circumstances to occur as a part of my earthly learning curve. It is ALL in perfect order.

                           This past week I spent the most wonderful 5 days with my Ministerial and Spiritual teacher, Lorraine. This woman has done it all and is walking talking proof that we can all benefit from some hard work and daily introspection. We may survive the financial ups and downs – knowing full well at this moment that many of us are in the same boat … barely floating and searching for an oar. But we maintain. I learn so much from her when I go and realized that I need to go ALOT more than I have been, she is an excellent teacher and she teaches by example. She sets a very impressive one  

                   Recently we have begun reading a wonderful book named ‘The Way of Mastery’ The book is the given teachings of Jeshua ben Joseph and it is published by the Shanti Christo Foundation           http://www.shantichristo.com/enter.html  ( copy and paste )    take a peek  

                       With each word I read, I feel that spirit has filled my cup. With each reading I feel empowered and healed and feel as I have many wonderful things coming my way. Jeshua ben Joseph or Jesus as he is better known, was taught by the Essenes. They imparted upon him wonderful ways of reasoning and learning and working through our daily struggles. Reading from the book you learn that they are not struggles, only circumstances you call to your awareness in order to heal something – or learn – or walk a different path – or forgive others or forgive yourself.  The site is worth a look and the book is worth every penny.

                        I also have not been doing ‘Healing work’ per se.  I no longer have the space I once had. I do miss it and I plan this year on finding a space in which to get paid for my services.  I have four noisy dogs in this house and it is tiny, and while I have a small room, they being dachsunds bark like mad – I honestly do not know what I was thinking by getting FOUR Dachshunds, but they are my heart … I am looking around for a space and I can almost see it. It is coming.

                       The other thing that is working at my awareness is doing more Ministry work, I need to make the connections and am looking at clergy robes deciding which color LOL  I feel that choosing and just getting the darned thing will be an investment in actually doing something with it. It is such a step into the unknown as I am basically a shy person with those I do not know and I am not sure I want MORE responsibility – but I am participating in my daughter’s wedding ceremony in May and I am pushing the obnoxious tummy butterflies away ……..this week I have to choose a clergy robe .. have been looking and looking and am settling on basic black – because white is out and the other colors are so ‘loud’ I will color it with some nice vestments and maybe learn how to make some  

                 Then – there remains that other nagging internal mouthpiece shouting into my ear every day is the artist inside scrabbling to get out. I am so creative, I have so many solutions for others and so many ideas for things to make I see pictures in my head and I love to create and paint and take pictures so I really do this year wish to launch a line of my creations. I have a room set aside in my home with boxes of ‘stuff’ and I have tables set up .. and today and this week I am moulding it into a workspace I have to …. I have so many needs to fulfill …..as do we all

                   I am singing again, so there is practicing to be done, although I take singing one teensy step at a time – No Expectations – No Disapointments !! I sooo love singing, but I do still after all this time get nervous and need lyrics. Perhaps I need to work with people who have no misgivings about lyrics and don’t make me nervous.. it has almost always been a painful journey – so why do I sing .. because I simply HAVE TO… so there ..

              Then there is that Astrology reading I have been trying to finish for a friend at work.. with Astrology, for me – plotting is only the tiny part, much of it comes from quiet meditation and research .. I am trying – I really am ..it is close .. soooo close LOL !!!

                  Now where to find the time for ALL of this, ahh there is the question and I will finding my answers and writing about it from time to time . In my travels, I will be taking more pictures as I have such a passion for photography. One of the things I ALSO need is a really good camera so that I can do some portraiture…. something I started years back and never got to finish… and alas I lost yet still love so much,  my beautiful model Marie Elena, who is beyond the tinsel curtain… I miss her very much … I especially miss her encouragement and her insistance that my pictures ‘speak to people’ … time will tell if indeed they do. Marie if you are out there, I need your encouragement

so there is an update that few will read, except me – and do so as gentle reminder to never stop dreaming and creating and manifesting…. 

Love to All and Beautiful Days Ahead …xoxoxoxoxo C xoxoxoxxxo